Tag Archives: Flloyd Kennedy

Experiment: Journal, Day 1

The View from Over The Hill

Day one of journaling!

Decided to jot down what I’ve just been doing today, so that I don’t forget how industrious I can be if I try.

So, first thing, I made the bed. That’s ok, eh? Got dressed, left my hair alone. No make-up, so must remember not to video myself today.

Checked on the garden, all good. Found that ‘double daffodil’ or is it a Jonquil? tipped over, so I snipped it and brought it in to play with its friends.

It has the most exquisite, delicate perfume.

Those are tomato seeds under the cling film next to it.  And the perfume is Ralph Lauren Safari, which they don’t make any more, so I bought that bottle years ago on eBay, and it was already well past its best, so now it is an ornament.

I brought in from the ‘garden shed’ (a cupboard by the front door) the plastic bag I’ve been dumping stuff in ever since I moved here last May. Found some tiny bulbs, some of them rotten but others desperately sprouting pale and wan leaves, and I’ve popped them into a pot. I repotted the beautiful flowering plant that Sarah brought for me when she came to work on her audition monologue – she was accepted into ALRA North’s MA Professional Acting course next academic year!

I listened dutifully to Radio 4 and the news, wondering when and if a State of Emergency, or Martial Law (whatever they call it here) will be declared, and having more sympathy than I ever thought I would for those nation states who have ever declared it, in this ‘war’ or any other. Who would have thought so many people would be so stupid? Me. That’s who.

Turned over to Radio 6Music, and had a jolly good bop in the kitchen to Frankie Goes to Hollywood and Boney M.

Now I’m tucking into my incredibly healthy breakfast, of muesli-with-extra-rolled-oats-and-almonds, a dash of milk and a topping of home-made yoghurt.  I’ve made my second cup of coffee, and left it, forgotten, in the kitchen. The first one was abandoned, pouring all over the worktop because I’d left the machine on while I took stuff back to the garden shed. Hang on.

There it is. Lovely. Just needed a wee zap in the microwave. This one had been forgotten because my phone tinged, and it was Morag Stark sending me a daft wee video on WhatApp. Comedian @JaneyGodley has taken video of Nicola Sturgeon advising Scotland how to behave and added her own voice doing a creditable Nicola Sturgeon, only speaking in much broader Scots and making the message much more hilariously powerful.

I’ve forwarded it on to a few specially selected friends. I hate the mass sharings, when you know the sender has just hit “send to all my contacts”. I delete those immediately. Just so you know.

Already, I’ve heard back from three of my actual friends, who’ve enjoyed the video and asked how I’m doing. Conversations. That’s what it’s all about.

Now I’m doing this. Which has exhausted its usefulness, for now.

Catch you later. Stay at home. Wash your hands. Don’t touch your face. (If you’ve been doing a lot of online communication lately, via Skype, FaceTime, Zoom, whatever, you’re probably noticing, as I am, just how often we touch our faces).

Message to self: Don’t do it. Even if you are socially distanced. It’s an unconscious habit, and you’ll do it when it’s dangerous if you don’t lose the habit.

10:04 am Tuesday 24th March, 2020.  Not dead yet.

For all the mothers

Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers, and about to be mothers. As someone who spent half her life avoiding her mother, and the other half learning how to appreciate her, with all her strengths and flaws, I have been astonished at how much I miss her, now she’s gone. This is a song I wrote for a show about 15 years before she died, while I was still in the ambivalent stage. It took another few years before I realised it had all come true – for me. I’m not the greatest singer, as you know, but you may enjoy the song. Listen here, or you will find it on Spotify, Amazon Music, Deezer et al in the album “Yes! Because… the songs”

Time IS the Essence

“Time is of the essence”  What on earth does that mean?  I know we usually use the phrase to get someone else to hurry up. “Time is in short supply”?  Crikey!  That is for sure. [I feel the need for an emoticon.  Facebook, what have you done to me?]

So I just felt inspired to write a new blog post, one that was personal rather than business related, and of course, this is my personal blog. This one. So I open it up, and discover that I haven’t posted here for THREE YEARS!!!  Sorry for shouting, but what the heck, this is ridiculous.  Where have I been? What happened to me? Who even am I?

I’m not going to attempt to fill in the past 3 years, because most of you already know what I’ve been doing.  You probably have a clearer idea than I do, because I forget things.

That’s not strictly accurate. I don’t actually forget, I misplace things in my head, and sometimes it takes longer than usual – whole seconds – to find them. Alright sometimes whole days. And sometimes I don’t bother.

[In brief, I’m now based in Edinburgh, after a stint in the south of England, teaching voice to acting students and touring my solo show.]

Why?

Because I can.

What brought that on?  Comments from a friends, mostly Facebook friends who don’t actually know me all that well (so who does?)  “Aren’t you brave!”  “Good on you, Flloyd!” Or this one, received today: “how fun that you keep traveling the world, playing, and acting/playing, and putting yourself out there. it’s great great great.”

Yes, it is fun. It’s great. I love it. I love being in new places, working in new ways, learning as I go, doing the things I love doing, which are performing and teaching.  And I hate that I have to travel to the other side of the world in order to be able to do it. It’s exhausting. I’m tired. I’m sad to leave good friends behind. It’s hard for me to make friends. I know lots of people, that doesn’t mean I have lots of friends. So I value my friends.

When I was young, I assumed that I wasn’t anyone that people particularly wanted to be friends with, so whenever I moved away I said goodbye and never made any effort to stay in touch.  Fortunately, I eventually learned that friendship is something that has to be worked at (like families). So now I make an effort to stay in touch with friends, to let them know I care about them. As a result, I have a couple of good friends everywhere I go (that I’ve been to before!)

Here in Edinburgh, I’m now beginning to reach out to them, and I’m so lucky that two friends from Glasgow are now living and working in Edinburgh, so I don’t have to reach out too far.  Family members are still on the other side of the country, but as I discovered last weekend, Oban is just two train rides away.

So I was able to connect up with my sister-in-law, Mabel MacArthur, and my younger son Roderick at the Wedding of the Year, and much fun was had by all. I couldn’t dance, because I had a dodgy and very painful wrist, so Mabel performed The Dashing White Sergeant just for me.

But I digress.  And I find myself doing that more and more often these days.  It’s a form of procrastination.  Like writing this blog post instead of rehearsing and re-working my solo show, due to be performed in New York next month.  How good does that sound!  [Rhetorical question, hence no question mark]

Yes, it sounds good. It will be good. A great experience.  Unless my US work visa doesn’t come through in time, in which case I will still be performing in New York, just not in an actual theatre on 42nd Street (book your tickets here), and not for the potential of taking away a portion of the Box Office, but for free in my friends’ and family’s front rooms. Incidentally, if you’ve booked and paid for your ticket already, THANK YOU SO MUCH I LOVE YOU.  If not, but you intend to come, please do, because there is a web page on United Solo’s website that lets us know when we have sold 15 tickets or more, and if we sell out they allocate another performance slot. And IF the visa doesn’t come through, you will be refunded, so no risk involved.

Oh dear, what was I saying?  See what I mean?  Oh yes, Time. Apparently it doesn’t exist without Space. Also, it always exists – past, present and future, they are always in existence. So wherever I have been, and wherever I am now, whatever I get up to in the future – no. I’m exhausted just thinking about that.

I think I need to focus upon the NOW. I am in Edinburgh – oh, and I can’t begin to tell you how happy it makes me to be able to see Roddy more than once in 4 years, to be able to call Iain in the US more than once in 6 months, with the time zone difference much more sympathetic to my sleeping patterns.